The days of blind dates, making your move on the cute stranger at the bar, and meeting “a friend of a friend” are long gone. Like many other aspects of life in the 21st century, dating has gone digital. Of course, getting ghosted through a messaging app is far less nerve-wracking than potentially getting turned down in person, but it certainly still has its own unique challenges. Here, we’ll go over a few tips to revamp your online dating game.
Finding the Right App
One thing we have working on our side is ample access to a wide variety of dating apps: Grindr, which is targeted toward members of the LGBT community, Bumble, which lets the ladies make the first move, or the lawless land of Tinder, where simple swiping seals your fate—the list goes on and on. There is a dating app for everybody, from farmers and Christians to those specifically looking for casual sex on platforms like xmeets. Once you’ve figured out exactly what you’re searching—erm, swiping for—you’re well on your way. As they say, showing up is half the battle.
Don’t be afraid to test-drive a few dating apps before finding the right one. They all have different settings, parameters, and features for new users to navigate, so give yourself some time and don’t stress if you don’t find a new fling right away.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when scrolling, swiping, and clicking through endless headshots is that most everyone on these apps is only showing what they want you to see. Typically, the photos you’re seeing are the best of the best, taken in the best lighting, on a good hair and makeup day, and then run through a filter or two. Be sure to remain as open-minded as possible when the time comes to meet the person behind the texts (and the sexts) face-to-face.
The witty banter you’re used to may fall a little flat when it comes to an in-person conversation, and that’s okay. Give it some time; maybe even discuss a second date where both of you will feel less anxiety and anticipation. If you are using the apps for a no-strings-attached, casual hookup, even better! If you’re in it for their sexy accent, or to fulfill a celebrity lookalike fantasy, get yours, have fun, and be safe.
When curating your dating profile, it’s easy to get a little carried away, i.e. are you a business owner or just a frequent user of the Facebook Marketplace? It’s okay to exaggerate a little—no one’s going to fuss too much over your true dedication to tacos and dogs (we all know it’s just for the bio). But it is important to be as honest as possible; no one wants to be catfished.
Of course, as with most things, there are special circumstances. For instance, if you and your partner are on the same page, and you’re both looking for a little role play leading up to the big night, go crazy and have fun with it! Honesty can make or break your online dating success, so lay the ground rules first, then get down to business.
Just be prepared. Whether it’s about showing up to a partner’s house with protection or (God forbid) getting ghosted, online dating is like the Wild West. Every man is for himself, and everyone is looking for the next best thing. At times, you’ll need a thick skin and you may even receive some rude or vulgar comments, but just delete, block, and move on. It’s all about what you want and how you want it; a person’s cute face and hot bod doesn’t mean you have to excuse bad behavior and poor treatment.
Don’t overthink it, just be yourself, have fun, and be safe.